More Shoe Horn Nonsense

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With Osama Bin Laden’s body still warm, and his media profile hotter than ever, a bidding war has broken out between OK! magazine and Wikileaks for the rights to publish the first exclusive pictures of his bullet mangled corpse.

Between them, the two media leviathans have been first to get in on exclusive snaps from the likes of Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones’ wedding, images from a bombing raid killing Iraqi civilians and children, and many of Jordan’s before and after surgery results.

In its desperation to nail the scoop of the year, seasoned rag, OK!, is using increasingly aggressive tactics to secure exclusive rights to the bearded weirdo’s posthumous pics to prevent ‘new kid on the block’, Wikileaks, getting there first.

Owner, Richard Desmond, has been courting Obama and White House officials, reportedly sending signed copies of Katie Price’s seventh volume of her autobiography as a sweetner.

OK! Magazine's Richard Desmond claims Osama has gone from the most wanted list to the A-list
“He was America’s most wanted man when he was alive, but now the whole world wants a piece of him,” said Desmond of Bin Laden’s surging popularity.

“To have an Osama cover would be a dream scoop for OK!. It would shift more copies than the Brangelina twins or Kerry Katona on a fun-run.”

Hot on OK!’s heels, however, is Wikileaks editor, Julian Assange:

“The biggest question that’s on everyone’s lips is: who was he wearing when he died? If it was Alexander McQueen, that is going to blow everyone’s minds…if you’ll pardon the pun.”

Author Andrew Morton, who penned the best-selling biography of Diana, Princess of Wales, is already said to be in talks with Desmond and Assange about a potential publishing deal for his unauthorised biography of the enigmatic aeronautical enthusiast. The hope being that it will hit shelves before Katie Price can find the body – now believed to be 150km out in the Arabian Sea – and marry it.