Thursday 28 April 2011

New Bones Magazine Issue out now! Here's my article...

Link here.



There has always been an inherent tension between the law and artistic expression. One seeks to impose a mechanism of governing authority over society’s actions, i.e. make it do something; the other seeks, through the deliberate arrangement of symbolic elements, to provoke a visceral response, i.e. make it feel something. Historically, the way that art has always achieved this to best effect is by breaking with society’s conventions, overstepping the boundaries of decency or finding creative currency in the taboo.

But while art and crime have always been enthusiastic bedfellows – (if not outright shagging each another then definitely flirting inappropriately) - in this multi-media age, we find ourselves a long way from a time when the reddish pink earlobe of John Singer Sargent’s subject in Madame X; or even the more recent unmade Bed of Tracey Emin, was able to shock. Increasingly it seems to be more about the context than the content of a piece of art that determines whether it’s the wrong side of naughty.
Much more interesting than the fucking tired debate over whether graffiti is art or vandalism is the fact that it’s free; in both senses of the word; like, it costs nothing and is at liberty to go wherever it wants – usually illegal places like private property. Its meaning is as much to do with the illegal act of its creation as it is to do with its message. Most of the time if we want to see a movie for free, or get an album for free we have to commit a criminal act of piracy to do it. By committing criminal acts themselves, graffiti artists make it so that we can enjoy their art with impunity.

Would we have ever heard of Shelley or Byron were it not for the facilitating vices of opium and hookers? Would the Sex Pistols have simply turned out to be another Status Quo dad band if Sid hadn’t shanked Nancy? And it’s not just the artists that can be illegal either. Sometimes the art itself is the transgressor - Lady Chatterley’s Lover was a much better work of erotica when no one was allowed to read it – and sometimes art is the defence - from Izima Kaoru’s studies of rape and murder to the Chapman Brothers’ sexualisation of children. Art can provide a safe filter through which it’s possible to confront difficult subject matter.

The fact is, everything’s just more fun when it’s illicit, isn’t it? Food, sex, art, bootlegged tunes, shoplifted couture... When you’re breaking all the rules it’s worth remembering: when it comes to art, if it doesn’t feel wrong, you’re not doing it right.

Monday 18 April 2011

New Issue of Bones Magazine...

...will be out soon. Meantime, here's a little tease:

Monday 11 April 2011

5 Male Love Interests From Movies, Who Are Supposedly Desirable But Would Make Shit Boyfriends In Real Life

1. Big in Sex And The City
In case you're hazy on the whole 'standing you up on your wedding day and publicly humiliating you' thing; it's a deal breaker, FYI. Especially if his reason is that 'he didn't want to walk up the aisle in front of all those people'. What a fass. It's not as if, in the film, he didn't have, like, months and months to say to Carrie 'I'm not sure about this massive wedding actually'. Oh, but he didn't want to spoil her fun planning the big day, so he waited until she was at the altar and jilted her instead. Nice.


2. Michael Carrington in Grease 2
How creepy is this guy? He stalks Stephanie for months, finds out what she's into and then becomes all those things. Shudder. It's like, 'Hey, I wanted to know what kind of stuff you like so I went through your bins and saw that there were some pizza boxes in there so I've bought us some flights to Rome and I've changed my name by deed poll to Gianni da Vinci. Will you go out with me?'


3. Adrian Grenier's whiny, passive aggressive character in The Devil Wears Prada
Andy (Anne Hathaway), an aspiring writer, gets a shitty, entry level job at the biggest women's fashion magazine in the world. Her boyfriend, Nate, instead of being happy for her; instead of saying 'sure, your long hours suck but just get your head down, do it for a year by which time you'll have enough experience to leave and get a less shitty position on a proper newspaper'; instead of supporting her when she's so obviously being bullied by her boss, sulks passive aggressively throughout the movie, making digs about her clothes and appearance, and stone walling her.

The more glamorous she becomes, the more he dislikes her job because it means she's no longer the dowdy, geeky girl who's grateful to be going out with him. Jealous, spiteful, manipulative, yet he's considered her reward at the end of the film for doing what he wants by jacking in her passport to her career.

Luckily because it's the movies, she still manages to get the dream job at the end, but the dream man? Nope.


4. Nick Curran in Basic Instinct
In every sex scene, the time between first kiss to ejaculation is, on average, about 2 minutes. And Sharon Stone's character STILL falls in love with him? I guess psychopathic murdering women love premature ejaculators. The rest of us? Not so much.


5. Edward Cullen in Twilight
If you woke up in the middle of the night to find your boyfriend sitting in the corner of your bedroom watching you sleep, would you:

A. find it romantic?
B: shit yourself and apply for a restraining order?

The correct answer is B, by the way.