Alternative Miss World

Aside from simply supporting gay marriage (see today's furore over Miss California's ignorant display during the current Miss USA pageant) , what makes Andrew Logan's Miss Worlds alternative to the usual Barbie dolls is their poise, pose and personality. And the fact that they can be trannies, or even grannies...

Check out my interview with the organiser, sculptor and artist Andrew Logan up on Don't Panic now:


An Interview With Founder Of The Alternative Miss World Competition, Andrew Logan
(originally published online at dontpaniconline.com, April 2009)

In just under two weeks’ time, the next Alternative Miss World will be crowned at the Roundhouse in Camden and the collective dreams of frustrated pageant queens everywhere will be realised. For Alternative Miss World is a competition for everyman: housewife, teacher, taxman or indeed vicar; whether gay or straight; whether animal, vegetable, or mineral, each has a shot at the title. Previous winners have included a 75 year old Russian woman – (hobbies: smoking, drinking and dancing), and a robot.

The Pater Familias of the Alternative Miss World event, and general hostess with the most-ess, is the sculptor and artist Andrew Logan whose mission, he declares, is ‘to give enjoyment and pleasure to others through quirky, humorous and extravagant mementoes’. And boy, does he deliver on that mission. There is no memento bigger or more extravagant than the Alternative Miss World legacy. Since the first show in an old jigsaw factory in Hackney in 1972, it has grown into an event with an international reputation.

When asked why he started hosting the Alternative Miss World event Logan replies simply, “I love throwing parties”. He calls it a ‘surreal art event for all-round family entertainment’, which is fun and refreshing. While it may be accurate to describe the event as ‘alternative’, it is not niche or exclusive, nor does it have an agenda or mandate other than to show-off and have a bloody good time.

The inclusive spirit of Alternative Miss World means it attracts all types of contestants. “My sister has entered every one”, says Logan. “My brother’s done a few. I have a friend who entered the first one in 1972 and is doing it again for the second time this year. At the last one in 2004 we had Norman Rosenthal from the Royal Academy – he’d wanted to do it for years.”

In a recent piece in the Guardian, previous contestant Michele Hanson wrote of her experience as crowned runner-up, ‘Miss Ruislip’ in 1972: “In my horrid daywear overalls, knee bandage and grim giant swimming knickers, I felt fabulously confident and glamorous”, she writes. “I pulled my pink rubber gloves on and off, swirled my mop stylishly. There were no rules and no conventional standards of beauty, which meant that anyone, of any shape, could feel stunningly beautiful.”

The running order is loosely based on a beauty contest with the usual categories of daywear, swimwear and eveningwear with what Logan calls the ‘oh so important interview’ – “What I really want is world peace…”. But rather than measuring the contestants on their vital statistics and where they place on the fake-tan Richter scale of orange, the whole thing is judged on just three elements: poise, personality and originality.

Even without the liberal approach to scoring it’s hard to draw up any more detailed criteria for judging the contestants because until the curtain rises on the night, no one present – judge or audience member – knows what to expect.

“All I know about this year’s show is that Miss Donna Maria – the maypole queen of the UK – will be there with her troupe”, says Logan. “There will be a maypole there too and a performance based around the Mayday ritual and the rite of Spring.”


“That’s the joy”, he says of not knowing. “On the evening I’m as surprised as everybody else because there are no rehearsals. It’s important we don’t do any so they [the contestants] literally just arrive, the stage is already set, and they just walk on and do their thing.”

Consequently, it’s also a bit of a struggle to describe the qualities sought of a winning Alternative Miss World contestant beyond simply describing the previous victors and divining their key attributes – chief among which seems to be the fittingly ambiguous virtue of ‘individuality’.

“The reigning Alternative Miss World is a man who called himself ‘Miss Secret Sounds of Sunbird Rising”, says Logan. “For his eveningwear he had on this dress with a big cage with live birds in it and he sang falsetto – the most amazing song in this extraordinary voice. The night he won, there were a lot of very theatrical women on the judging panel; people like Pat Quinn and Amanda Barrie. So it can be thrown by who’s judging and what they’re looking for”.

The judges are all selected from a trusted circle of people who are involved in Logan’s life in various ways. “Sometimes I’ll get a phone call from an agent saying that a particular celebrity is interested in judging’, says Logan, “but I hate all that.”

“I prefer it to be people I know. So this year we have Richard O’Brien who has been a great supporter for many, many years; my great friend Zandra Rhodes and we also have Betty Mackintosh, who has been my bookkeeper and PA for almost 30 years. I just thought it would be nice to give her the chance to be involved, that’s what it’s all about. Julian Clary, who hosted the last event has agreed to come back this year as a judge, and my great friend from India is flying in as well.”

Despite the spirit of inclusiveness and frivolity, could it be I suggest, that things can, and do, get pretty competitive? Logan’s sister, Janet Slee (ex-Miss Handled), was quoted in Hanson’s piece saying that she had noticed that things had begun to get very serious backstage.

"We were told to stop giggling by another contestant”, Slee recalls. “We were spoiling his concentration. It changed then. It used to be all giggles and hoots. You used a bit of crepe paper, or whatever you had. Now some people spend huge amounts of money and time. The rivalry's quite intense, secretive, people don't speak to each other for weeks in advance. There are rifts in friendships. Andrew knows nothing of this."

“I’m sure it does get competitive”, says Logan. “But I stay well in the background.
I’m not really interested in winners or winning but I do like the ritual of the coronation.”

In his civilian incarnation as a sculptor, Logan takes great interest and care in creating all the Alternative Crown Jewels and winner’s thrones himself. Each event has a theme and the coronation baubles are created around it. The previous 5 events having been Water, Earth, Air, Fire and Void, this year combines them all under the umbrella of ‘Elements’. “I thought ‘well I’ve already made the Alternative Crown Jewels for each one, I can just use them all for ‘The Elements’ and I don’t have to do anything!’”, says Logan. “But then my friend Piers Atkinson who’s a contestant and organising the souvenir programme said ‘Oh no you can’t get away with that, you’ll have to do a whole new set’. So I did brand new ones for this year.”

What Logan and his team can achieve in a relatively short amount of time is staggering. Preparations for AMW 2009 only began in earnest in September and were halted for a 3-month winter hiatus in India. As we talk there are two assistants – fashion and textiles students – beavering away outside, sewing sequins and stitching fake fur trim onto the winner’s gown.

“Each time I do and Alternative Miss World, when it’s all over I say ‘never again!’”, laughs Logan. Presumably it was the same story after 2004’s event, so what changed his mind?

“The film”, he says.

Ahh yes, the film. During our interview I have been all too keenly aware of the camera lens trained on us. It follows Logan everywhere, throughout the preparations, documenting every detail down to the smallest rhinestone. What began as a much smaller project, with the intention of recording the 2004 Alternative Miss World party, has become a five-year investigation into the history of AMW as it relates to Logan’s work as an artist. It will begin with the 2004 Alternative Miss World event and follow Logan over the 5 intervening years, culminating in the AMW 2009. “I had to put on another one”, explains Logan, “otherwise there would have been no ending for the film!”.

The finished movie is slated for release in September this year and will do the rounds at the festivals. If you want a spoiler for the ending before that then get down to the Roundhouse on the 2nd May and find out who the next Alternative Miss World will be.

Alternative Miss World at The Roundhouse, Camden, Chalk Farm, NW1 8EH, 7pm, May 2nd.






http://www.dontpaniconline.com/magazine/democracy/andrew-logan---alternative-miss-world

Monsters Inked

My latest piece for Don't Panic is online now. This week I went to the preview night of Idea Generation Gallery's fantastic new exhibition, Monsters Inked. Scerryyyyyyyy......



With an enormous new commissioned work from Pete Fowler, and the first gallery showing of Rob Steen's Flanimals as part of their Monsters Inked show, we sent Emily Hobbs down to explore Idea Generation's lair.

Once upon a time (Tuesday night) in a strange and far away land (Shoreditch), a really not at all bad looking and thoroughly nice princess (me), clutching at a crumpled and torn map, followed the dark and labyrinthine alley-ways behind the Rainbow Sports Bar toward the unknown spot marked ‘X’.

Eventually she found the warehouse space containing the collection. Taken aback at such a comprehensive display of beastly incarnations the princess stood and pondered for a moment; what was the correct collective noun for a group of monsters? A scare? An ugly? A Cthulu? After some consideration she decided upon a scream of monsters.

Realising that the fairy tale conceit was at this point beginning to wear a little thin, and unsure how to convincingly keep it going for another six paragraphs, the princess switched back into the present tense to continue the article...

You know that the Monsters Inked exhibition is officially amazing when you can’t actually manage to see it. Its popularity is understandable when you consider that among those artists exhibiting were Rob Steen, the illustrator of Ricky Gervais’s wonderful Flanimals; the Godfather of monsterism, Pete Fowler; and artists including Thunderdog, Mick Brownfield and Ray Smith from the Central Illustration Agency all showcasing the best illustration and creative talent.

The exhibition includes 20 previously unseen illustrations by Steen which follow the translation from the draftsman board through to the finished image. Naked and pencil-drawn, the Adult Mernimbler's monstrous demeanour is somewhat lacking. However, the next frame affords a fully fleshed-out Mernimbler in all its colourful and grotesque glory, grimacing against a nightmarish backdrop of flora and fauna that makes you want to hide under a big duvet.

In the gallery's atrium there is an astonishing 800 square foot vinyl installation of Monsterism Island, created by Pete Fowler. The piece proves just how far an artist can take the concept of monster art. The eye is caught first by a sort of Jesus looking if he was John Lennon's younger brother and the whole world was made of LSD, before being drawn upwards to the demonic black fuzzy thing with antlers which is standing on his head, unabashedly displaying a humorously placed bone on what can only be described as (if monsters have such a thing) his crotch.

On the wall to the left as you go up the first flight of stairs there are some small, intricate studies drawn by hand in ink. Tom Jennings' illustrations feel more artistic and line-drawn than the bubble-gum style of some of his monster wallmates. One figure's face is comprised of two colourful birds.

Don't be afraid though, there's a big 'Awwww' factor at Monsters Inked too with the cute and cartoony Moshi Monsters - think Hello Kitty's genetically mutated cousin. My favourite part of the whole show is an interactive section where you can adopt one one of the Moshis or create your own monster using either digital design tools or good old fashioned pen and paper. If you feel you have a monster inside that you want to release, this is the perfect outlet. Someone might even want to take it home with them.


URL to original article on Don't Panic's site here: http://www.dontpaniconline.com/magazine/democracy/monsters-inked