Pointless female characters in films

Every now and again I'll watch a film and notice a niggling feeling of irritation buzzing in the back of my brain, like a fly trapped in double glazing.

And the source of this irritation? The Pointless Female Character.

The PFC is a role shoehorned into a film for no other purpose than to give some substance to one of the other more prominent characters. Or to simply provide some sexy time. Usually completely unnecessarily.

Let's look at some of the worst offenders.


The wives in The Hangover(s)
Let's be honest. The only reason the male characters in The Hangover have wives and girlfriends is to to make sure everyone knows they're not gay, right?

The writers could just as easily have had all the guys celebrating a birthday or something. But then, they needed to construct a scenario where a group of men would be partying together, without women, yet with absolutely no ambiguity about their sexuality.

Does Bradley Cooper's character's wife even speak? Why does he need a wife? His marital status has no bearing on the plot whatsoever.

But in Hollywood it is NOT ON to leave a male lead's sexuality up for interpretation, even by simply omitting to give him a love interest.

So, The Hangover's writers wheeled out the trusty badges of heterosexuality that are the WAGs. Just to be on the safe side. Shame they don't say or do anything.

Tellingly, the only male of the group without a girlfriend is Zac Galifianakis' character, whom the writers have portrayed as a manchild with autism who lives with his parents. Way to be balanced.

Would you notice if they weren't in the film? The groom with the Mike Tyson face tattoo might just as well be marrying a Topshop mannequin. So, no.

What's the tenuous message? If you don't have a girlfriend you *might* be gay. And that is too dangerous a risk for the box office.



David Frost's girlfriend in Frost/Nixon
It's VERY IMPORTANT that you understand: David Frost was a playboy, okay?

Why is that important? I don't know, because the whole film is about him trying to get an interview with Richard Nixon and then actually interviewing Richard Nixon. How Frost's swordsmanship is relevant in any way to this story arc is presumably known only to the studio, who would have insisted on some bedroom action because ANY FILM WITHOUT SEX IS UNWATCHABLE. Even if it's a film about a journalist interviewing a president.

And what does Frost's love interest even do? Her character is so insignificant they haven't even bothered to give her a back story. One moment she's inexplicably sitting in first class on a flight to LA. The next, she's permanently shacked up with Frost in a hotel ordering him cheeseburgers. I wish my employers would be that understanding.

Would you notice if they weren't in the film? You barely even notice that she's IN the film.

What's the tenuous message? That the biggest political scoop of the 20th century is just one massive yawnsville unless someone's demonstrably getting laid.



Pretty much every Bond girl ever
I mean, for the most part you just have to look at the dated misogyny in the older Bond movies as an unfortunate side-effect of the era. Like flares, or moustaches. But it's especially disappointing to see the Pointless Female Character still appearing in the more recent films.

Take Gemma Arterton's Strawberry Fields in Quantum of Solace. She's literally only in it so that we can all see James getting a shag. You see, it's important to know that James can COMMAND poon the way Simon Cowell commands ratings otherwise how are we supposed to believe in his skill, cunning and heroics?

Bond undermines Fields for his own amusement and then draws the VIP-invite-to-despot's-mansion-party card and suddenly it's knickers to the floor.

Two acts later, she's dead.

Did we really need to see Bond coercing a colleague into sex after humiliating her just so he can accessorise his party tuxedo with a vagina?

I reckon the audience would've managed to follow the plot without that unpleasant diversion.

Would you notice if they weren't in the film? No

What's the tenuous message? Women = stupid and horny. Bond = minge whisperer.



Natalie Portman's mate in Thor
What is the point of her? Seriously. Is she just there so it's not weird that Portman's character has no mates and only hangs out with some older guy in that observatory?

Okay, I fell asleep during the middle so maybe she was significant in some way that I missed. But the parts I was awake for left me none the wiser as to what she was supposed to be doing there. Even Portman and that other guy's characters looked like they were all, 'seriously, who are you?'

Would you notice if they weren't in the film? No.

What's the tenuous message? If it was just Natalie Portman and her boss in that lab then the OBVIOUS inference would be that they were getting it on, even though it would be pushing the May to December envelope. Plus, old guy would be cuckolded by the mighty Thor and be rendered a sympathy figure for the audience, which would detract from the main point of the film - ie the otherworldy HOTNESS of the Thor/Portman pairing. An unthreateningly unattractive female sidekick is the perfect counterpoint to the dynamic.



So, to sum up. The Pointless Female Character does four things:

1. Proves that male leads aren't gay.
2. Sexualises non-sexy narrative.
3. Serves as a foil for the masculinity = misogyny trope.
4. De-sexualises an already non-romantic scenario in case there's any way it might be interpreted as romantic by stupid people.

The PFC - not that pointless after all? Or just a lazy device used by cowed writers at the behest of bullying studios?

Not sure. But if she disappeared for good, I wouldn't miss her.